Thursday, September 23, 2010

"He Gave His Everything"

I shared this today on, for those who couldnt see the show LIVE..Be Blessed.

I rose early this morning, even before the doves and other birds started chirping. I seen the cows from a distance but heard nothing… not even a peep from such a large animal. The cows quietly grazed on the field, following each other through a trail of bushes.

No sound.

Maybe that’s how God feels sometimes, He watches us from a distance going about our daily business but hears nothing…

No sound.

He probably wonders how could we choose to go about our day and not even seek his face. To wake up and not be thankful that He gave us another breathe of life. To not even be thankful that our refrigerator has atleast one more meal, little alone a weeks worth. To not be thankful that when we went to start our car, that it still runs. We watch tragic accidents happen on the daily news, however we still don’t thank him for keeping us safe. We go to our jobs and expect more, we want less hours, but more pay, not even thankful for just having a job anymore.

We’re just quiet.

I’m so emotional right now, I can hardly stop the tears from flowing down my face. The last couple of days I was going about my day trying not to think of some situations that are going on in my life right now. Trying to convince myself that I gave it all to God. But did I? Or did I try not to think about it all together? Now don’t get me wrong I’ve prayed about all of these situations many times. But I guess this time I tried to push the feelings aside so much that I somehow pushed God aside too.

It wasn’t the same as before where I could go to my room and wake up the next day and move on. The pain and hurt was distracting me from listening not to mention speaking to my almighty God. So He guided me here to Restoration Ranch for one reason, to get me away so that I could listen.

Read Habakkuk 2:1-3 (Where do you go to seek him?)

I will stand my watch

And set myself on the rampart,

And watch to see what He will say to me,

And what I will answer when I am corrected.

Then the LORD answered me and said:

“ Write the vision

And make it plain on tablets,

That he may run who reads it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time;

But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.

Though it tarries, wait for it;

Because it will surely come,

It will not tarry.

Scared to react, I just sit still and try to listen. Listen to what He might be saying…Listening to His voice…

But I heard nothing.

Usually a conversation takes place when one person talks and another listens and they go back and forth having a conversation. But did I even ask him to speak to me? The word of God says “ask and it shall be given to you” and I think a lot of the times we just don’t ask. Or atleast not for the right things.

I broke down and started asking God to show me, and speak to me.

He did… He showed me.

In James 4:1-3 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

He quickly corrected me on what I was praying for. and quickly asked what was it that I wanted?

I think as a parent we give and give and give, sometimes our kids don’t even ask, we just give. We give because we want them to have the best. We give because we want them to be happy. But then there are those time when we give because they ask, and it is a delight for us to be able to give to them.

Our God delights in us also and wants to give to us.

And in 1John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Now where am I going with this? Being broken I came here to the ranch, to hear God speak and last night as I prepared to put on my pajamas for bed, I mumbled out loud “I gave you my everything”. Now at this point only a few close friends and God know what that actually meant to me. But what happened next was enough to send me to tears as I laid my head on the counter.

I heard “ I gave YOU my everything”.

Tears started to flow down my face, knowing exactly what He meant. He had given me His all. He gave up His life, just like I had given up my life for my daughter. At age 19 I became a single parent when I had my daughter. She is my everything. I dedicated the next 21 years to making her happy, providing for her and protecting her. God was showing me that He had done the same for me. He also started showing me that I too have failed him, not just once but several times. I too have said harsh things to him in the midst of a storm. But He still loved me. He still encouraged me to keep going.

In Psalm 37:23-24

The steps of a [good] man are directed and established by the Lord when He delights in his way [and He busies Himself with his every step]. Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord grasps his hand in support and upholds him.

I cried some more, recollecting all the things I had done till now at the age of 40. Things that I’m sure he shook his head and said, “Kim, Kim, Kim.” Several times I’m sure he had to say, “It’s okay, get up, and try again!” He had definitely at times hand to grasp my hand and support me.

I quickly said, “Okay God, I get it!”

What did I get? I got the fact that loving unconditionally is a commandment. And that even though I had been hurt or discouraged that I too had to continue to love like He had loved me. If any of you know me, I love all my kids with all my heart, I give my all! But God was saying something different.

In John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

He loved us so much, how could we not love one another in the same manner. He gave a command, not an idea or thought. He didn’t say just “love one another“, but he said, “AS I HAVE LOVED YOU!” He has loved me so much that I have to stick to his command.. And to be honest with you “I have a lot of loving to do if I want to catch up to Him!” The tears start to flow again at that thought.

“I have a lot of loving to do, He gave me His everything, so much that now I have to continue to give MY everything.”

I sat there for a bit and wept, When he gave his everything for me, He hurt, He suffered, but He rose up again!

I said to myself, I too shall rise again. I immediately started to feel better knowing that He was hearing my prayer, and that He knew my heart.

In James 4:10

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

And his word says that He is the lifter of our heads,

Psalm 3:3 But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

It was because of me seeking his quiet voice that he lifted me up again. He began to not only show me but heal me so that I could love the way He loved me.

He is the reason we love, and it is because “He gave His everything”

I pray you were blessed and that you are encouraged to love as He has loved you!

I have to give a special thanks to Restoration Ranch for being my still and quiet place and thank you Jesus for loving me the way you do…KimmyG

The days are long but the years are short, love like He loved you and enjoy each moment you have together!

This blog and video is dedicated to my daughter, Jessica. God knows your heart, and as a young mom I pray that you’re forever embraced by our Gods Love, and that you love your daughter “as He has loved you!” Love, Mom.
That's Life by Kimmy G.

1 comment:

Netsmom said...

WWWaaahh!! Amazing thoughts, amazing relationship you have with our God. This was very touching. Thanks for sharing this with all of us. You didn't have to, but whoever reads it will definitely get something out of it. God's love, that's for sure! Love you BFF.